The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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