Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
