did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your cock deserves a montage
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
