Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
farters have to be the big spoon...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
