Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize