btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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