so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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