I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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