Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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