The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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