I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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