woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
