Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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