did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
