Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
