My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
