He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
