I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
