____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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