Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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