I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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