I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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