Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we're so committed to being not committed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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