go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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