it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize