they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
