Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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