i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
