security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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