y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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