Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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