If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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