i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
