Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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