Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
