Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
