Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
