They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
