After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
