Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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