i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
