i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
