it was like eating out sand paper
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
