Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
