Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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