Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno http://tfl.nu/xl94

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(702): View more from Nevada

Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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(702): Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks. http://tfl.nu/8gmt

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(305): View more from Florida

so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator

(954): View more from Florida

you didnt stop her?

(305): View more from Florida

too entertaining

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(305): so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator (954): you didnt stop her? (305): too entertaining http://tfl.nu/7hz6

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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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(404): I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building. http://tfl.nu/5zu2

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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(972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6

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(519): View more from Ontario

You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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(519): You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up http://tfl.nu/hzs8

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(503): View more from Oregon

We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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(503): We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake http://tfl.nu/m3xg

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(315): View more from New York

i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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(315): i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake http://tfl.nu/sp6n

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(916): View more from California

I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.

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(916): I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house. http://tfl.nu/a7ly

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

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(978): Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right?????? http://tfl.nu/gecs

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(315): View more from New York

how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

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(315): how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/auq3

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(470): View more from Georgia

My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.

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(470): My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time. http://tfl.nu/utoz

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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?

(1-301): View more from Maryland

It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.

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(301): Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one? (1-301): It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem. http://tfl.nu/x27d

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(323): View more from California

In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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(323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b

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