she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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