I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
