Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
