Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like a drive thru vagina
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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