If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.