I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night