Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode