I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.