Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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  (903): Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything. http://tfl.nu/euxa
  Replies (9) Good night (5389) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.

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  (514): The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you. http://tfl.nu/k985
  Replies (44) Good night (7692) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Barney's a jerk

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  (781): I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments. (617): Barney's a jerk http://tfl.nu/dlz7
  Replies (16) Good night (4787) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think

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  (705): Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think http://tfl.nu/e8us
  Replies (9) Good night (1112) Bad night (5252)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.

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  (314): I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness. http://tfl.nu/5pr0
  Replies (20) Good night (4596) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.

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  (520): In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties. http://tfl.nu/3p0b
  Replies (32) Good night (7719) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.

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  (650): Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot. http://tfl.nu/jbjf
  Replies (8) Good night (3081) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

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  (716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6
  Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (2902)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

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  (786): hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth! http://tfl.nu/9piv
  Replies (10) Good night (1141) Bad night (1981)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly

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  (516): my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly http://tfl.nu/e7hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.

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  (919): It feels like one of my ribs evaporated. http://tfl.nu/v71y
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You have plans tonight?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope

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  (330): You have plans tonight? (1-330): Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope http://tfl.nu/9w5b
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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  (919): so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow... (1-919): I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that. http://tfl.nu/ee0c
  Replies (0) Good night (1821) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.

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  (817): Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty. http://tfl.nu/lz9h
  Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?

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  (508): I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK? http://tfl.nu/s17s
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (217)

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