i just wanna soil my oats bro
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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