My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
