"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
