Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
