Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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