I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
