just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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