oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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